Long-time BADCP readers and friends know that the Lost Planet titles are probably my most-played Capcom titles of the HD generation. Not because they are exemplary titles, or are incredibly fun, but more because of the grind imposed by Capcom for unlocking all the cool stuff. Unfortunately, the road to unlocking all this cool stuff is long and strenuous, and made even more so by the game's unforgivingly close-minded regulars. The series' appeal is in multi-player (a feature which is supposed to draw new players in), but its' regulars make it clear that newcomers are not wanted, and they go to great lengths to show it. It's a disappointingly-flawed series made even more disappointing by how many flawed fans it has. There are the true few who deserve respect, but the majority are cons, inconsdierate fucks, racist fools, or cheating bastards. At this rate, I'll never stop writing about this series, but just what is it that makes it so enraging and frustrating? Is it just one thing?

TBS = Tea-Bagging Scumbags
Tea-bagging and taunting project somehting more than it being "just a game." These things show that the player isn't playing the game for fun, as just a game; rather, as a means for something else. PurpGuy puts it as compensation for something they are lacking in real-life, and the logic in this couldn't be clearer. We refer to them as sore winners. Once only applied to those who lose with bad sportsmanship, "sore" has become applicable to those who have bad sportsmanship even when they win. Examples would be a team who is getting blown out getting tea-bagged. Despite their comfortable lead, the team winning is the team doing all the tea-bagging and corpse-raping. It's a common occurence that drives a lot of players away. Most of the people I know who own Lost Planet immediately decided not to play multi-player, and not to buy the Colonies Edition for its expanded multi-player; all because of the shit these idiots do.

The Lost Planet series is plagued with these types of players. I think it's funny when they get it shoved back down their throats. Just recently, I was in a four-player Akrid Hunter match with me as the only Akrid. It's tough going up against three skilled players as Akrid, yet I still got tea-bagged by some punk-ass bitch after it took all three of them half the match to take me down. Not only did I win the match, but there wasn't one point where they were ahead, so how the fuck are they gonna taunt me when it took that much for them to take me down? Three dudes taking half the match to take down one Akrid player isn't even worthy of praise, let alone justification for taunting. Still, there was another (Team Elimination) match where I was killed and tea-bagged right out the gates from the beginning. It was unnecessary, and I paid him back for his bullshit by obliterating him and his team with the VS Laser Lance. Funny how all that taunting turned out to be the foreshadowing of a shameful loss.

TMI = Taunting, Moronic Idiots
Not all taunters get their shit shoved back down their throats, however, and there are times when it is nearly impossible (thanks to all the freedom Capcom granted for Ranked matches). Capcom had a chance to undo ruin with Lost Planet - Colonies (like they did with Lost Planet 2) by limiting match settings in Ranked matches, but they didn't. The result? Corpse-raping pieces of shit waiting in groups for unsuspecting players to walk in so they start the game early and gang-up on them in Elimination matches, or corpse-raping pieces of shit who have their bullshit friends exit out of Team Elimination matches so they can boost points. Having three of four dudes on your team quit really sucks for two reasons. One, the game doesn't fully process the match until the match is finished. Two, because if level 100+ players are already hard with teammates, a win against them with little to no teammate support is highly unlikely. This is the reason for all the LP2 hate, and it's easy to see that all the series' fans care about is fixing matches to their advantage and ruining the experience for their own personal gain. These inconsiderate fucks ruin the online battle experience.

Fuck taunters. Fuck shit-talkers.

It's supposed to be a game, but it's really hard when it's a breeding ground for shit-talking, punk-ass motherfuckers who manipulate and cheat to win. Of course there's lag, but some of the shit that happens in the Lost Planet games is really questionable...

And then they try to put you on a bleeding heart guilt trip for calling out their bullshit, saying that "it's a game." Funny, because if it were "just a game" like they say, then why is it being used as a medium to compensate for real-life inadequicies? It turns into more than just a game when they go out of their way to shoot, taunt, or teabag downed opponents instead of just moving on to the next opponent. For what reasons? Because the opponet was just playing the game as they were supposed to? So if the opponent actually plays the game and battles while doing so, unsporting bullshit is justified? No, it's not; defense and/or justification reflects their rotten real-life personality. There's no reason to be a dick when everyone is just playing the game and having fun. These games aren't just for those in the scene; they're for everyone. And then there were the typical racist bullshit comments to go with it. It's amazing how many racist fucks play games like LP. I will tell a motherfucker off, I will tell them to stay the fuck out of team matches whether they're in the scene and like it or not.

LMAO = Losers, Morons, Assholes Online
The LP series has some of the worst fans around, and some of them are so bad that they have to fuck the game up for everyone else by killing their teammates in Team Elimination matches. This is a real dick thing to do; why fuck the game up for everyone else? There's no good reason to treat Team Elimination as typical Elimination. Some racist bastard-ass motherfucker tried to get all bad when I fronted him about killing his teammates for no reason. His stupid ass got into all this bullshit about how it wasn't serious because it was an Akrid Hunter match, and how at his level you can "mess around," and that it's "just a game." Just a game, at such high rank? Then why was this pussy-bitch racking up kills on his unsuspecting teammates if he's such a bad-ass? Wouldn't a bad-ass go up against a whole room of ready opponents in Elimination? Would a bad-ass have to go to such lengths to boost for rank? If this shit was all "just a game," then why was in-game rank even a factor? If it's "just a game," wouldn't that make in-game rank irrelevant? If it's "just a game," then why was in-game rank being used as leverage?

ROFL = Retarded Online Fucking Losers
While we're on the subject of boosting, let's expose the assholes who ruin the multi-player battle experience by throwing matches. This particular flaw has plagued the series since its inception, and has not been addressed by Capcom in the Colonies upgrade or epic sequel. At first, it may seem like technical difficulty or coincidence that your team is a man or two short in a 4-6 player match. While coincidence is always a possibility, and it's possible that players can be dropped from sessions due to connection issues and such, the frequency of its occurence makes it hard to believe that it's either. It would be different if it were only a handful of players, but veterans will notice that there's a pattern to be seen in the usual suspects it happens with. The fact that these scamming motherfuckers have to throw the game to win is pathetic. It's pretty much impossible for one guy to go up against three or four of these assholes in a Post Grab or Counter Grab match. Forget even trying to tell a pussy-bitch tea-bagger that it took his whole team to take you down. Fuck this scene bullshit.

The only thing worse than them is the fact that Capcom still hasn't made it so that the teams are evened-out if a player on one team has "left the battlefield." Whether or not a player has "left the battlefield" voluntarily or from connection issues, a player from the opposing team should be dropped to even things out. It's unfair when one or two guys have to go up against a team of eight because everyone else on their team "left the battlefield." Plain and simple. It's unfair. Why haven't they fixed it? What is the reasoning behind it? If it makes the game more playable, then why wouldn't they fix it? There has to be a reason why it hasn't been fixed (even after an upgrade and a sequel, both of which have had countless updates). If the overly-difficult controls don't already demonstrate how little Capcom cares about the series, then this negligence should.

GTFO = Get These Fuckers Offline
It's safe to assume that these cons are the same bitch-ass motherfuckers who play a match all the way up until the end and then you see that they have "left the battlefield" once it looks like their team isn't going to win. Looking at this common practice, it makes you really question the legitimacy of everyone in those top Leaderboard spots. I'd like to drag their cheating-asses into the middle of the street and beat the piss out of them for being dicks. There should be a penalty for quitting games for no reason. One funny thing, however, is how a lot of these cons are cheating fucks, but still can't win. You know you really suck dick at a game if you lose even when you cheat. Shit happens with lag, but then there's shit that isn't lag; posts being activated with not a soul in the vicinity. How the fuck can this happen when the only two players even near it are exchanging shots? Dirty-ass cheats, that's how.

This series brings out the absolute worst in people, and a graveyard of (already defective) broken controllers shows it has brought out the same in me.