So I was thinking to myself; what game is worthy of my time? What game could take precedence over spending time with my son? What game has made me call in sick to work (lately, I have had to call in dead; all my sick days are gone) just so I could stay home and play it? I remember a game that cost 20 bucks, was ridiculously difficult, and actually held a candle to Ninja Gaiden Black's godlike gameplay, which I hold on the highest pedestal available. That game, in case you haven't guessed (or read the title of the article, jackass) is Devil May Cry 3 - Special Edition.

A gimmick of a lot of companies (and I hate to say it, but Capcom in particular) has been re-hashing titles, releasing them on different systems, or coming up with goofy packaging ideas (ala Halo 3, or every Working Designs game ever made; may they rest in peace). And it pisses me off. It's like going to the movies and getting bombarded by shitty, "made in China" figurines of some ugly pirate asshole. I wanted the content of the movie, not some toy that will melt on the dashboard and kill me with the fumes. What does any of this bullshit have to do with anything? Well, I'll shut the fuck up and tell you!

This game isn't a re-hash. This game isn't some ploy to crank out a few more copies because it just barely made Greatest Hits. This is a "Thank You" from the most fan-oriented company in the industry. If there are any fans in existence more rabid than Capcom fans, they're probably football fans and will die from alcohol poisoning or choking on chicken wings. And Capcom listens! They certainly do! What makes this game great, not a re-hash, and certainly worth the measley 20 bucks it costs?

First, you get to play as Dante's cold and calculating brother, Virgil. Not a pallette swap, not a watered-down Dante, but a sword-spewing Death Machine who can cut demons into little itty-bitty chunks of evil. Playing as this guy is like playing as Hien from Strider 2 - bucking fusted in the extreme. Every move you see Virgil do to you in Story Mode is at your disposal in some form. Death Orbs? Yup. Shooting swords? Yup. Wicked flippy-kick with the Beowulf gauntlets? YES! Believe it already; this guy kicks more ass than a machine gun that shoots out N64 wrestling games. He even gets his own remixed versions of "Taste the Blood" and "Cross the line" for combat. As a final dash of spice, Virgil gets three weapons he can switch between any time in combat.
Personally, my favorite is easily the Beowulf gauntlets, as the damage output from these is enough to turn most enemies to mush in no time flat.

Secondly, and taking a cue from DMC2, which will henceforth be referred to as "He who has no name", comes the bitchin' "Bloody Palace" mode. It's essentially a survival mode, where the more floors you go up the higher the difficuly level becomes. DMC3 fans will be pleased to note that this mode is stupid-good for getting Red Orbs (which buy everything). Also, it's a great place to practice combos and bone up on your footwork. Did I mention it's kind of tough to beat all 9999 floors? Oh. By the way, it's tough to beat all 9999 floors.

And my personal favorite, is the addition of a Turbo Mode. TURBO! It's like Street Fighter, without some asshole Gigaton Punching you into oblivion! Everything is sped up by about 30%, with NO FRAME LOSS! NO FRAME LOSS! This means it still looks slicker than snot off a windshield! And it's fast, making it harder, making your adrenaline go higher, making your hands twich in joyous anticipation of the next frenzied, stylized melee!!!

And if none of that has won you over, then think of it this way - the game is twenty dollars. NEW. And if you don't own DMC3, then buy this. If you don't, you're fucking stupid. And if you're offended by that, then you're fucking stupid. If it offends you, chances are it applies to you. So stop being stupid and buy this game.